Stories - of the Ouch Kind!
The Ohau River Quarry Monster
I'll start with the oldest story. As a 12 year old in Ohau (Nth of Wellington) my cousin Richard Shackelford and I were obsessed with catching the fabled Ohau River Monster in the local quarry. It was a humongous eel with the head bigger than a sheep's! It was obvious that a large hook was needed so I purchased a decent-sized shark hook for the task. Our choice of bait was a good chunk of "black pudding" (look it up). A great length of old fishing line (not Nylon) was tied to the hook, alongwith a medium-sized sinker. Trying to hand cast this arrangement far out into the deep quarry was unsuccessful, so I came up with the bright idea of tying a rock to the line instead of that puny sinker. Trying to swing this heavy rig around with any degree of control proved too difficult. Then I finally clicked. Just pick the rock up and throw it! To cut short a long embarrasssing story, I spent a week in Palmerston North Hospital whilst they planned for and eventually carefully removed the shark hook from my wrist. It was almost totally embedded in my wrist with only a short bit of the shank and the eye visible. The original hook (and my scarred wrist) is pictured opposite.
No Bananas Please!
One day I decided to take my old tinnie up to Mangawhai Heads to treat my (then) mate Graham out for a fish. Judy lovingly packed our lunch and we headed off for Sail Rock, a few k's off the coast. As soon as we anchored up Graham got a huge take on his (my) rod, but after a lot of effort we were rewarded with a big ugly Moray eel. Loads of slime all over the boat and our gear. Then it was my turn. A real rod-bender! I handed my inexperienced fishing buddie my rod whilst I pulled up the anchor to give room to fight this trophy-sized Kingfish. For some reason only he would know, Graham released the drag on the reel and a birdsnest more impressive than Marge Simpson's hairdo appeared. "Gosh" I thought. That was a bit sad really. The line shortly snapped under the pull of this mighty, once in a lifetime fish. Still sulking a wee bit, I shifted spots and passed across a bit of wash from another boat when my boat lurched. Now I know I should have pre-warned Graham about the tendency of the passenger seat to come off its pedestal, but it was a minor issue really. (My regular fishing buddy Peter had learned to deal with it multiple times.) However, as the boat lurched, it happened. Graham flew sideways across the boat and rammed his side into my well-secured, hard fibreglass seat. He was not a happy chappy and despite my excitement about going back for the one that got away, he seemed to prefer to return to base without delay. His face was rather gray. You've no idea what I had to then go through. Trying to go fast but super careful over swells; having to crash land on the beach before going and getting the car and trailer and parking that lot down the boat ramp; going back and pushing the boat off the beach; carefully driving the boat up on the trailer; getting off quickly to hitch up the boat and winch it up by myself, then driving back to tell Judy the bad news. All that time Graham just sat in his (temporarily repaired) seat like Lord Muck! Soon we were following the abmulance up to Whangarei Hospital where Graham had his few broken ribs attended to. Apparently he wasn't too well for a while and couldn't even laugh about his adventure. Anyway, the important lesson was, I found out later that Judy had packed bananas in our lunch!!! Everyone knows that one NEVER EVER has bananas on a boat. Surely.
Didn't get a line in the water
Many years ago I entered a surfcasting competition at Murawai Beach. A mate had hired a covered truck to take a group up the beach. Most of us were standing in the back when the truck hit a soft spot in the sand and we came to an abrupt halt. I apparently used the back of the steel cab to cushion my flight backwards through the air and ended up getting eight stitches in my head in Auckland Hospital. When I rang Ann to come and collect me she was confused as to why I wasn't up the beach fishing!
The old somersault on the boat ramp trick!
Not so many years ago I was at Takapuna boat ramp before dawn as was our custom. Peter and his son-in-law held the boat in the water whilst I went to park the car and trailer. I was in a rush as there were loads of boats launching that day for a fishing competition. Just as I was arriving at the bottom of the ramp, I slipped on the slimey concrete and did an spectacular backwards somersault! I remembered that bit. Next I remember being a tad concerned that water was over my face and one of my jandals was slipping off. :) I was shortly rescued by concerned (yet impatient) boaties who helped my crew wrap up my heavily bleeding head then get my car & trailer and retrieve the boat. I was driven to nearby North Shore Hospital where I received 12 stitches. (Must have been close to the 8 stitches from years before.) Once again my poor wife was more than surprised to be woken up by two stange Asians tapping on her bedroom window to explain why we were home early with no fish!